The Empath's Boundary Blueprint

Do you ever feel like your sensitivity is more of a curse than a blessing?

Ever felt drained because you're constantly saying 'yes' and neglecting your own needs? We're here to help you understand these empathic experiences and turn your sensitivities into strengths. 

This episode of the Realized Empath Podcast is filled with insights about setting emotional boundaries and navigating external pressures. 

We make this transformative journey together to redefine your limits, balance your connection with others, and honor your needs.

Setting boundaries can be tough, especially when facing criticism or pushback. Fear not; we've got you covered. With practical approaches and assertiveness, we'll guide you in communicating your needs with clarity and compassion. 

We'll also distinguish between walls built from fear or past trauma and healthy boundaries. The aim is to maintain your boundaries and affirm your self-respect and self-worth, even when challenging situations arise. 

Lastly, we'll tackle the often overlooked but critical topic of resentment. We'll discuss its role in setting boundaries and how to create healthier environments through effective communication. 

We'll share real-life examples and provide tips for efficiently articulating boundaries. 

Our goal is to have you reclaim your energy, embrace your empathic gifts, and allow you to shine brighter. So, don't miss out on this empowering conversation; remember, you are not alone in this journey. Until next time, keep honoring your beautiful, empathic self.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

You're listening to the Realized Empath Podcast, where we get real about loving and stumbling through our sensitive lives With your host and holistic counselor, Kristin Schwartz, who helps redefine what's possible for an empath who embraces a path of self-healing.

Speaker 2: 0:22

Hello, beautiful souls, welcome back to the Realized Empath Podcast. We're sanctuary for exploring all things empathic. In today's episode, an empath's boundary blueprint, we're taking an empowering exploration. So have you ever felt like a sponge, absorbing every emotion around you? Or maybe you found yourself so intertwined in others' needs that you forgot your own? If you've ever felt overwhelmed by the intensity of your empathic gifts, you're not alone, and today's episode, I hope, can be a beacon of light. We're not just talking about boundaries. We're talking about a revolution in self-care and self-respect. So get ready for an eye-opening journey into the world of empaths and highly sensitive people. Let's redefine our limits and reclaim our energy. This episode is more than just a conversation about boundaries. It's an invitation for transformation.

Speaker 2: 1:26

Let's start with the basics. What exactly is an empath or a highly sensitive person or HSP? So picture a world where every emotion, nuance and energy is absorbed and deeply felt. That's the daily reality for empaths and highly sensitive people. In today's episode, we're going to go into the nuances of these traits and how they shape our perceptions, interactions and even our relationships. It's like living in a world with amplified emotions, where the subtle becomes significant. But this heightened sensitivity comes with a cost, sometimes Without boundaries. The empathic experience can be like riding a roller coaster with no breaks. It's thrilling, sure, but potentially overwhelming. So we're going to explore the delicate balance between embracing your sensitivities and protecting your inner peace.

Speaker 2: 2:29

So empaths and highly sensitive people possess an extraordinary ability to perceive and feel the emotions of others. This heightened sensitivity shapes every aspect of our lives, from how we interact with people to how we process surroundings. It's like having an emotional radar that's always on, picking up the subtlest signals that most people might miss. For an empath, a simple conversation is more than just an exchange of words. It's an intricate dance of emotions, tone, body language and energy, and they can sense not just what is being said, but what is left unsaid, the hidden feelings and unspoken truths. This can lead to profound connection and deep understanding, but it can be incredibly taxing too. The emotional load can be heavy, especially if we struggle to differentiate our feelings from those of others.

Speaker 2: 3:31

When it comes to interactions, empaths and highly sensitive people often find themselves in the role of confidant or healer. Or maybe you're the person everyone calls when their life is falling apart, yet you feel like when yours is falling apart, you hear crickets. So empaths and highly sensitive people naturally attract those who seek empathy and understanding, and while this can be fulfilling at times, it also poses a challenge. Without clear boundaries, we can become overwhelmed by others' needs and lose sight of our own. So this sensitivity extends to relationships.

Speaker 2: 4:07

Impassant, highly sensitive people tend to experience emotions more intensely. This depth of feeling can lead to rich and meaningful relationships, but it also means that conflicts or misunderstandings can be deeply hurtful. Learning to navigate these waters is so important. It's about finding the balance between openness and self-protection, right Between empathy and self-preservation. The key lies in embracing these sensitivities while also guarding your inner peace. It's a delicate balance indeed.

Speaker 2: 4:42

Impassant, highly sensitive people need to develop the skills to protect their energy, like setting emotional boundaries, practicing self-care, learning to distinguish between absorbing emotions and acknowledging them. This isn't about shutting out the world. It's about creating a space where we can thrive without being overwhelmed by the emotional noise. By embracing this balance, we're not just surviving, we're flourishing. Our sensitivity once a source of challenge becomes our greatest strength, a tool for deep connection, empathy and understanding in a world that desperately needs it. So understanding our empathic nature sets the stage for today. So let's see what happens when we live without boundaries. So imagine a day in the life of an empath with no boundaries, barring every emotion, saying yes to every request, constantly being the shoulder to cry on.

Speaker 2: 5:40

In this segment, what we're going to do is paint a vivid picture of a boundaryless existence, a life where no is a foreign word and personal space is a distant dream. Either the friend who can't seem to refuse a favor they're the first one you call when you need help moving the person who will drop everything to lend an ear. It seems noble, right, but beneath the surface there's a constant draining undercurrent of needing to be needed. This friend may fear that saying no could lead to rejection or a loss of connection. So they stretch themselves then, often at the expense of their own needs. Then there's that colleague, the one who always stays late at work to help, long after everyone else has left the office. You know they're seen as the team player, the reliable one.

Speaker 2: 6:42

But what drives this relentless air quotes commitment so often? It's a deep-rooted desire to be indispensable, to prove their worth. And they're proving their worth through their willingness to sacrifice personal time and well-being. And this behavior, while initially made garner praise, can lead to burnout and resentment, both from themselves and their colleagues who may start to take their efforts for granted. And let's not overlook the parent, who puts everyone else's needs first. Their entire life revolves around their family, often neglecting their own hobbies, rest and social life. So, while their dedication to their family is unquestionable, their self-neglect stems from a misunderstanding of what it means to be caring right, so that parent equates love and care with self-sacrifice, not realizing that by neglecting their own needs they're not only depleting themselves, but they're also setting an example for their children that personal well-being is not a priority. So I know the psychology behind these examples is complex. So the fear of rejection is a powerful motivator, and what can happen is it can lead people to overextend themselves in the hope of maintaining connections, approval, attention and what we may mislabel as love. So the desire to be indispensable is another compelling factor.

Speaker 2: 8:22

We live in a world that often equates worth with productivity and helpfulness, and it's easy to fall into the trap of believing that our value comes from being perpetually available and accommodating. Think about this for a second. How many times has a text come through to your phone and you have felt this need to immediately answer? It's like this sense of urgency. You know, I'm old enough to remember that before cell phones, if someone called you at home and you weren't there or you weren't able to answer the phone, maybe they left a message on your answering machine, but you would get back to them when you were at home and when you had the time. Now we have this sense of urgency where people actually expect you, when they text, to answer immediately. I've even heard people say I know they always have their phone, why aren't they answering? So I challenge you the next time a text comes through, just notice your body reaction, notice what your needs are in that moment. Respond to texts when you have the space and when you are willing and able.

Speaker 2: 9:33

So this need or this desire or drive to be perpetually available and accommodating is a shadow side of empathy, the part that compulsively gives, not out of pure altruism, but out of this deep-seated fear and misunderstanding. It's a slippery slope that can lead to emotional exhaustion and loss of identity and even resentment towards those you're trying to help. That's why understanding and establishing boundaries is not just important, it's essential. So boundaries allow us to give without depleting ourselves. They enable us to care for others while also caring for ourselves. It's not about becoming less empathetic or less caring. It's about understanding that true empathy includes being empathetic to yourself. Realization is the first step towards a more balanced and healthy way of living and loving as an empath or highly sensitive person.

Speaker 2: 10:32

Setting boundaries I know it sounds straightforward. Well, maybe that's not your experience and it's not always so easy as it sounds. So in this next segment we're going to reveal, we're going to talk about why it's sometimes easier said than done. So why is setting boundaries so tough, especially for empaths and HSPs? It's a multifaceted dilemma which can involve guilt and fear and social conditioning, and many of us were taught that being good means putting others first, always.

Speaker 2: 11:03

So what I want to do is I want to dissect these myths and uncover the deep-seated fears that hold us back. Is it the fear of conflict or the guilt of not being enough? Or maybe it's the worry of being perceived as selfish? I want to address the internal and external pressures, like from the voice in your head that says you're letting people down to maybe real-life pushback that you're going to get. So boundaries for many of us are entangled in a web of guilt and fear and social conditioning, and it makes setting them feel like an insurmountable challenge.

Speaker 2: 11:44

So guilt often emerges as a central theme, especially in cultures or families where self-sacrifice is glorified. There's a pervasive myth that prioritizing your needs is selfish or indicates a lack of caring for others. So this guilt is compounded by fear. So, like the fear of how others will react, fear of being seen as unkind or maybe uncooperative, and also a big one, the deep-seated fear of rejection or abandonment. So I get it. And while these fears aren't unfounded because they're often rooted in past experiences where maybe asserting your needs led to negative outcomes, and that makes the prospect of setting boundaries seem risky.

Speaker 2: 12:37

So dissecting these myths, what it does is it reveals how deeply ingrained beliefs about self-worth and acceptance influence our behavior. Many of us grow up with the notion that our value is tied to how much we do for others. What that does, though, is it leads to this relentless pursuit of approval and validation through selflessness. This belief system, what it does is it creates a false psychotomy where taking care of yourself is viewed as being at odds with caring for others. It ignores the possibility of a balanced approach where you can be compassionate and supportive while also honoring your own needs and your own limits. This skewed perception also leads to an inner narrative that setting boundaries is an act of aggression or rejection, rather than the truth, which is it's an act of self-care and healthy relationship management.

Speaker 2: 13:41

The pressures of setting boundaries are not just internal, so what ends up happening is they manifest externally through real life pushback. So when someone starts to set boundaries, especially if they haven't done so in the past, it disrupts established dynamics, and what that does is it leads to resistance from those who are used to your constant availability or agreeableness. I don't know if you've ever heard this one, but it's like the people who have real problems with your boundaries are those who benefited the most from you not having them right. So this pushback can range from, let's say, subtle guilt tripping to outright confrontation, right, and this can make the act of maintaining your boundaries an ongoing challenge. And this is where a lot of people just give up and they just decide to stay with resentment, or they cut relationships off completely. The voice in our head that cautions us against disappointing others can be so loud, and it's often echoed by real voices like those of our friends or family or colleagues who don't want us to have boundaries. They're confused by the change or they're caught off guard by the newfound assertiveness Navigating these internal and external pressures requires not just understanding and dismantling the myths, but also a strong sense of self-worth and the conviction that setting boundaries is not just permissible but necessary for your emotional health and wellbeing.

Speaker 2: 15:26

So now that we have a better understanding of the hurdles that we can face, let's go into the nuances of what constitutes a boundary and what actually crosses over into being a wall. So, boundary and wall they might seem similar, but they're worlds apart, and what I wanna talk about is understanding the critical difference. A boundary is like a gate in a fence okay, so it allows for healthy interaction while also maintaining personal space, where a wall, on the other hand, is impenetratable. Right, it keeps everything and everyone out. I want you to know how to recognize if you're building a wall or a boundary and maybe sometimes your walls are disguised as a boundary and I want you to know why this is happening. Right, is it a defense mechanism? Is it a fear of vulnerability? Knowing whether you're erecting a wall instead of setting a boundary? The key lies in self-awareness and intention.

Speaker 2: 16:31

So a wall, often built subconsciously, stems from a place of fear or past trauma. It's a defense mechanism, and it's understandable that you would have the defense mechanism. But what that is? It's a blanket solution to avoid vulnerability or more hurt. For instance, let's say someone has experienced betrayal in the past. That person might decide to cut off deep emotional connections entirely, and their reasoning would be if you don't let anyone in, then you can't get hurt like you did before. At first this behavior might feel like a boundary, but it's actually a wall blocking not just potential pain, but also potential joy and connection. What's important is understanding the emotional origin of the wall right.

Speaker 2: 17:29

So often what happens is the walls are rooted in deep seated insecurities or unresolved trauma, unresolved pain, and a person who constantly feels let down by others might start to believe that all relationships are destined to disappoint them or destined to hurt them, and that belief system creates a wall right that shields them from potential disappointment, but it also isolates them from meaningful interactions. It blocks them from having the healing relationships that would aid them in building trust up again. Right, so it's blocking the potential moments of healing for them too. It's important to recognize these patterns. Are you setting a boundary to honor your well-being, or are you erecting a wall out of fear or past pain? Or is the wall being built from a narrative that no longer serves you.

Speaker 2: 18:34

So how do we take our walls and turn them into healthy boundaries? So, to transform your walls into healthy boundaries, it requires you to embark on a journey of healing and introspection. It requires examining the past experiences that have shaped the defense mechanisms, and that often involves confronting uncomfortable emotions and challenging long held beliefs about yourself and about others. The goal is to reach a place where you can have boundaries from a position of strength, right and self-awareness, rather than fear. This shift from fear to strength and self-awareness allows you to interact with the world in a way that protects your well-being while remaining open to the richness and diversity of human relationships. It's about finding that delicate balance where you're neither overly guarded nor excessively exposed. It's like that sweet spot in between. It's a state where your empathic nature can thrive in harmony with, also, your need for personal space and peace. So, being really honest with yourself about your own barriers, understanding your own barriers, is pivotal in nurturing healthy relationships. It's not just about keeping others out. It's about letting the right experiences in in a way that preserves and respects your inner sanctuary. So let's talk about striking that balance. It's a delicate balance, but it's needed for healthier and more fulfilling empathic experience.

Speaker 2: 20:27

Maintaining boundaries is an art, especially when we're faced with criticism or pushback, and what I'd like to explore now is the terrain of standing firm in your boundaries even when others don't agree with you. Getting good at maintaining your boundaries is about communicating your needs with clarity and compassion, not just for others, but for yourself, right? You wanna remember that your boundaries are not a debate for the court of public opinion. They're a declaration of your self-respect and self-worth. Standing firm in your boundaries, particularly when others challenge them, is akin to navigating a more complex emotional landscape. So, for instance, let's say, family members are questioning your choices. It's not uncommon for impasse and highly sensitive people to encounter skepticism or even outright criticism from family when they start to assert their needs. Maybe you'll hear why are you being so sensitive? Or you've changed? You're not as helpful as you used to be? In these moments, the key is to respond with calm assertiveness.

Speaker 2: 21:38

You want to affirm your boundaries without being defensive. This can be more difficult when you begin to set boundaries and you haven't done it before, and you're in a more survival place in your life where you've reached a limit and you have to change your life dramatically and quickly. When we're in this place of survival, we can come off as more abrasive, but that's only because we're in a place of survival. The goal is to get to a place where you're softened into your boundaries. It comes from a more empowered state, not from a state of desperation. So to affirming your boundaries without being defensive. What can help is coming from a more practical approach, and you can do this by using I statements that focus on your feelings and needs. So, as an example, I understand your concern, but I need to do what's best for my emotional health.

Speaker 2: 22:35

Now, in friendships, the challenge can often come from friends pushing you to bend your newly set rules. So maybe they don't understand why you can no longer be their go-to person at all hours or why you're suddenly prioritizing self-care over impromptu gatherings. So, with friendships, consistency in your boundaries is so important, so you can gently but firmly reiterate your limits each time you're tested. You can say things like I value our friendship a lot, but I also need to honor my personal time. Let's find a time that works for both of us. So what that does is it's striking a balance between maintaining your boundaries and nurturing your relationships.

Speaker 2: 23:25

Now what about your work? So workplace presents its own set of challenges. So it can be with colleagues or superiors, and sometimes they may dismiss your limits. Maybe this can manifest as expectations to work overtime or to take on more than your fair share at work. In those type of scenarios, clarity and professionalism are your allies. So you want to articulate your boundaries clearly, maybe during a meeting or through a well thought out email, for instance. You can say for instance, you can say things like I'm committed to delivering quality work within our agreed timeline, so to maintain the standard, I won't be able to take on additional projects beyond my current capacity. So, asserting yourself in this manner, what that does is it demonstrates not only your dedication to your work, but also your commitment to a sustainable work life balance. So when we address challenges with grace and assertiveness, we're reinforcing our boundaries, while we're also fostering understanding and respect from everyone around us.

Speaker 2: 24:40

So I have a question for you when was the last time you felt resentful? Think about that for a second. Who were you resenting and what were you resenting? Was it something they did? Was it something they said? Are there specific people in your life that you find yourself repeatedly resenting?

Speaker 2: 25:03

Resentment is not just an unpleasant emotion. It's a powerful indicator and I wanted to code what resentment can teach us about our boundaries. So resentment is often seen as a negative emotion, and it is right. But for impasse and highly sensitive people, it can be a guiding light to understanding where boundaries need to be set. And what I want to explore here is how our feelings of resentment are clues that signal areas in our lives where our boundaries are being crossed or neglected. Let's dive into some real life examples. Maybe you feel like you're being taken advantage of at work, or maybe you're feeling unappreciated in relationships, and how these feelings are pointing to a need for boundary setting. I want you to think of resentment as your emotional GPS, guiding you towards healthier interactions and healthier self-care practices.

Speaker 2: 26:00

Resentment often emerges as a silent alarm, meaning that our personal boundaries are being breached or overlooked. So this feeling, particularly common among impasse and highly sensitive people, can manifest in various aspects of life. For instance, consider the feeling of being taken advantage of at work. So this might occur when you're repeatedly asked to stay late. Or maybe you're asked to take on extra tasks because colleagues know you won't say no. So the simmering resentment that follows is not just about the extra work. It's a sign that your boundaries around personal time and workload are being ignored. And, side note, maybe it's a sign that you know what your boundaries are around personal time and workload and you're refusing to honor them and communicate them. So remember that the resentment that we feel for others around what they're asking from us can be pointed towards the fact that we're unwilling to ask for what we need. And it's easier to resent others than to do the difficult work and maybe it feels like difficult work to set that boundary to begin with.

Speaker 2: 27:13

What this is is it's your inner self, signaling that the balance between professional commitment and personal well-being is off kilter. And what about personal relationships? So feeling unappreciated is a really good telltale sign of boundary issues. It may show up in always being the one who makes compromises, or maybe constantly catering to your partner's needs while yours remain unaddressed. So this breeds resentment, which is essentially a response to unmet needs and a lack of reciprocal care and respect. It's a clear indicator that boundaries need to be set and communicated. And when boundaries are set and communicated, that then allows you to create a more balanced and mutually respectful relationship.

Speaker 2: 28:05

Without recognizing and addressing these feelings, the resentment will grow, and what that does eventually is. It leads to a breakdown in communication and, ultimately, the breakdown of the relationship. So recognizing and interpreting these signals of resentment is so crucial Starts with self-awareness, acknowledging that the resentment is valid and understanding what it's trying to tell you. So, once identified, the next step is to act on these insights. This might involve having honest conversations about workload with your manager or expressing your needs more clearly in your relationships. It's about turning these feelings into constructive actions that lead to setting or reinforcing boundaries. Acting on resentment is not about pointing fingers or assigning blame. It's about taking responsibility for your own well-being and creating a life that respects your limits and values. This approach is not only going to alleviate resentment, but it also empowers you to build healthier, more sustainable relationships and work environments.

Speaker 2: 29:17

I want to give you a quick example so you can see for yourself what resentment does to relationships, especially ones that don't have boundaries. Let's say you have a family member and each time you have family gatherings and that family member comes over, they behave in a certain way that you know you don't like. Let's go back seven years. Let's say seven years ago this person came over to your house and they did something that you didn't like you knew in your body it wasn't something you were okay with, but you didn't say anything. You told yourself things like they should know better, or what kind of person are they to do that? And then you say things like oh, how rude they are, how inconsiderate or how disrespectful, right, you start to judge and break down their character. And then the person comes over again and they do the same behavior and you do the same behavior. You don't say anything, but you assault their character in your head. You're building up resentment. So years go by and now the resentment is so heavy and you still haven't communicated your needs that you decide I'm never having that person over again. That's it, we're done.

Speaker 2: 30:31

If the boundary was set the very first day they came over, the relationship might have been saved. Now here's something else that might happen. Maybe, after years of their visits and your resentment has built, you finally blow up on them. The anger in the pent up energy that has been building for years is because of the lack of boundaries. It's not from their behavior. It's from you knowing that you had a boundary that they were crossing and you being too afraid to set the boundary. Instead, we build stories of it's their problem. They should know better and we put it all on them and then we carry the backpack of resentment around for years, putting all the onus on them to change.

Speaker 2: 31:17

This example is a boundary lesson. It's not about changing their behavior. It's about being aware of what your boundary was and you ignoring it and not communicating it. So if you find yourself in that situation where you've let something go for a long time and you can feel the heaviness of the resentment, what I say is, once you get to the point of setting that boundary, let go of the past, because, remember, all the anger and resentment that you're holding is because the boundary wasn't set day one. So set the boundary on day 675 and understand that you can let go of every day before 675, because the resentment was being carried around only because the boundary wasn't set on day one.

Speaker 2: 32:03

Okay, so knowing you need boundaries is one thing, articulating them is another. So what I want to do now is I want to give you the words to do that, and maybe you already know this. Maybe you know that when you first started communicating your boundaries, it felt daunting, or maybe it still feels daunting, but having the right words can really make the difference. So what I want to do is I want to go into specific scripts and phrases that can help you express your boundaries clearly and with confidence. So, whether it's declining an invitation without guilt or asking for space in a relationship, or maybe it's setting limits at work, what I want to do is I want to provide you with a variety of maybe examples or even templates, and you can use these scripts for more than just the words. I want you to use the tools for empowerment and self-advocacy. So in this realm of setting boundaries, the language we use can significantly impact how our message is received and respected. So here are some specific scripts and phrases, along with some examples, that can help you express your boundaries more clearly and confidently.

Speaker 2: 33:20

So first is declining requests. So when you're asked to take on more than you can handle, a simple yet effective way of doing that is, you can say I appreciate you for thinking of me for this, but I won't be able to commit to put in the task and request at this time. So what that does is the response is straightforward and respectful and it's also acknowledging the request while firmly stating your limit. So let's say, a colleague asks you to take over an additional project. You might say something like I'm currently focused on my existing projects and I want to ensure I do them justice, so I can't take on another one right now. Okay, so next up is asking for personal space. In situations where you might need to assert your need for space, you might want to say something like I value our time together. I also need some time for myself to recharge. So let's plan to reconnect or meet up on, and then you give a specific day or time Okay.

Speaker 2: 34:28

So this script is particularly useful in personal relationships. So, for instance, if a friend is demanding more of your time than you can offer, you might say something like I really enjoy our catch ups, but I'm needing some quiet evenings this week to unwind. How about we meet for lunch next Saturday? Okay, so what about setting limits at work? So, to set boundaries in a more professional setting, you want to be clear and concise. Right, which works the best. For instance, you can say something like to ensure the quality of my work, I need to focus on my current responsibilities. I won't be able to take on additional tasks like and then you say the specific task, right. For example, let's say your boss is overloading you with work. You can say I'm committed to delivering high quality results on my current projects, so taking on more would compromise my quality of work, so I'm unable to accept any additional tasks right now.

Speaker 2: 35:28

Now I know that I said that these scripts were specific to personal relationships or setting limits at work, but really you can tailor them to suit different situations and relationships. The key is to be direct, but you want to be courteous, right, so that ensures your message is clear without being confrontational. So you want to remember it's not just about what you say, but how you're saying it. So using a calm and steady tone conveys confidence and helps the other person understand and respect your boundaries. It's important to avoid over-explaining which we can do a lot or justifying your boundaries. You want to state them clearly and respectfully. This approach not only helps you set healthy, clear boundaries, but you're more likely to be respected by others. All right, so I know that we all know that boundaries are essential, but where do we draw the line between setting boundaries and exerting control?

Speaker 2: 36:30

So in our final segment, what I want to do is I want to tackle a crucial question how do we differentiate between setting healthy boundaries and attempting to control others? It's a thin line and it's a very important one. So boundaries are about protecting your emotional well-being. Control is about imposing your will on others and learning the difference is key to not only setting healthy boundaries, but also building relationships based on respect and mutual understanding. Healthy boundaries and control might seem similar in their methods of limiting interaction, but their motivation and their impacts are vastly different. So let's consider a few examples and scenarios to illustrate the difference.

Speaker 2: 37:19

So imagine a person who, in the name of setting boundaries, dictates how others should behave or feel. They may say something like you can't go out with your friends because it makes me anxious. So here what's happening is the individual is not expressing a boundary. They're attempting to control the other's actions, to manage their own emotions. So this is a clear example of where the line between self-care and control gets blurred. So, in contrast, a healthy boundary would look different. It may sound like I feel anxious when you're out late, so I'd appreciate a text to know you're safe. So this statement sets a boundary around personal anxiety without infringing on the other person's freedom. It's about expressing needs and feelings without imposing them on someone else.

Speaker 2: 38:14

So this approach not only respects personal limits but honors the independence of others. It's an example of self-care that doesn't veer into controlling behavior. So another scenario involves workplace interactions. So an individual attempting to control might say I don't want you working on projects with other teams because I need your full attention on our work. So this is an attempt to control the colleagues' work relationships and opportunities. So what that is usually stemmed from is a place of insecurity or a desire to monopolize their skills. So, in contrast, a healthy boundary would involve a conversation about workload and priorities and that would look like I've noticed our project is behind schedule. Let's discuss how we can manage our workload to meet our deadlines. So this approach addresses the concern without limiting the colleagues' professional interactions.

Speaker 2: 39:17

Recognizing the shift from self-care to control it often requires introspection. It's about asking yourself whether the intent is to protect personal emotional well-being or to change others' behavior to suit personal comfort. I'm going to say that again. It's about asking yourself is my intent to protect my personal emotional well-being or is it to change someone else's behavior to suit my personal comfort? So boundaries are about creating a safe, comfortable space for yourself, not about restricting others' freedoms or choices. So when feelings of wanting to control arise, it's often a signal to examine your insecurities or your fears, rather than an issue to be fixed by changing others' behaviors.

Speaker 2: 40:11

Understanding the essence of true boundaries is critical. They're an act of self-love and respect, not tools for manipulation or control. Boundaries allow for honest communication and mutual respect in relationships. They help in acknowledging and taking responsibility for your own emotional state, rather than shifting that responsibility onto others. True boundaries enhance relationships by fostering a sense of trust and independence. Where control what that does is it undermines and damages the foundation of mutual respect and understanding.

Speaker 2: 40:46

All right, guys, as we bring today's journey of an impasse boundary blueprint to a close, I want to take a moment to honor the steps you're taking just by listening to this episode. Remember, understanding and setting boundaries is a profound act of self-love and self-respect. It's not always easy, but it's always worth it. Your emotional well-being is priceless and your ability to navigate this world as an empath or a highly sensitive person is unique and it deserves to be protected. I encourage you to reflect on the insight and reflect on the strategies that we've shared today.

Speaker 2: 41:26

Which segment resonated with you most? Is there a specific boundary you feel inspired to set or reinforce? Remember, this is a journey and you're not alone. The realized empath community is here to support and uplift you. As always. If you found value in today's episode, please share it with a friend or a loved one who might also benefit from the insights. Your sharing helps me reach and empower more impasse and highly sensitive people, creating a world where our sensitivities are celebrated and nurtured. Don't forget to subscribe to the Realized Empath Podcast for more episodes like this. I'm here to support you in embracing your empathic gifts and transforming them into your greatest strength. Before we part ways, take a deep breath and remember your boundaries are your bridge to balance, not barriers to connection. Keep honoring your needs, embrace your empathic nature and step forward with confidence and clarity. You are capable, you are deserving and you are not alone. Thank you for being here, for being you and for taking this step today. Until next time, stay empowered and true to your beautiful empathic self. Take care.

Speaker 1: 42:43

Thanks for listening to the Realized Empath Podcast. Revisit past episodes or contact Kristen at RealizedEmpathcom. Did you love this episode? Please share it with a friend. Thanks for tuning in, Until next time. Sensitive souls.