Nurturing a Family of Feelers

Embarking on an empath's journey through the lens of parenthood can feel like navigating a labyrinth of heightened emotions, but it's a path I've walked and am eager to share. After a transformational retreat with kindred spirits in Costa Rica, my heart and mind are brimming with insights on empathic parenting that I can't wait to impart. The beauty of our shared experiences, the wisdom gleaned from sloth encounters, and the workshops that bonded us all left an indelible mark on my approach to raising emotionally intelligent children.

The tapestry of our lives as empathic parents is woven with threads of joy and challenges, and it's this rich fabric that we unravel in our latest podcast session. You'll find solace in our stories as we discuss the delicate balance between validating our children's emotions and maintaining our boundaries without succumbing to the guilt or exhaustion that often accompanies our role. 

With every story shared and strategy revealed, we'll strengthen the commitment to nurturing a family environment where every member feels heard and valued. Join me, Kristen Schwartz, as we traverse this exceptional journey, reminding you that you're part of a community that understands the profound depth of your parental voyage.

#EmpathicParenting #SensitiveSouls #EmbraceEmpathy #HighlySensitivePerson #EmpathLife #SensitiveStrength #HSPCommunity #EmpathicConnection #SensitiveKids #EmotionallySensitive #EmpathicHealing #EmpathicJourney #EmpathicSupport #SensitiveSpirit #EmpathicEmpowerment #EmpathAwareness #SensitiveLife #EmpathHealing #SensitiveSupport #EmpathicUnderstanding

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

You're listening to the Realized Empath Podcast, where we get real about loving and stumbling through our sensitive lives with your host and holistic counselor, Kristen Schwartz, who helps redefine what's possible for an empath who embraces a path of self-healing.

Speaker 2: 0:22

Hello, beautiful souls, and welcome back to the Realized Empath Podcast. I'm Kristen Schwartz, your host, and I'm beyond thrilled to reconnect with you all after my transformative journey at the Realized Empath retreat in the lush, soul-stirring landscapes of Costa Rica. It was so amazing. There aren't even words to describe this experience, which was like no other. It was a profound immersion into the depths of empathy and self-discovery that really left me inspired, utterly inspired and rejuvenated, though women, the sensitive souls that joined me on this adventure, were just everything and more. It's like picture this, like we're all surrounded by the vibrant hues of tropical flora, the soothing melodies of nature, symphony and the warm embrace of like-hearted souls, and we delve deep into the essence of what it means to be a realized empath. And we did it through soul-nourishing workshops, heart-opening force, meditations and soulful connections. And yes, I got to see a sloth, which I was really excited. It was like one of the first things that I wanted to witness. And I got to see my first sloth on the very first day of our adventure, and then I got to see one on our last day, so I was so excited. I uncovered so many layers of insights and wisdom, and it's forever transferred my approach to empathic adventure. And here's the best part. I'm already like eagerly planning the next adventure and want you to join me. Yes, you heard me right. If you're craving your journey of self-discovery and empowerment and you love travel and adventure, you have to join us next time for our realized empath retreat. I invite you to join my email list over at realizedempathcom because next Wednesday I'm going to be sending out an email and asking you all what places would you like to journey to? What countries? What states inside the US? I'm curious and I'm really excited to uncover where our next retreat will be. Even if you're not ready to go on a travel adventure with me, you can be the first to know about upcoming workshops and exclusive opportunities to embark on your empath healing journey. I'm going to be sending out an email to opt-in to my email list over at realizedempathcom.

Speaker 2: 3:05

Back to today's episode. Today, what I want you to do is sit back, relax as we dive into and explore the frustrations, desires and fears of being an empathic parent. So get ready to embark on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment. This episode is sure to answer all the questions that I get over the years from empath parents and parents of highly sensitive children. So let's get started.

Speaker 2: 3:35

As parents, we understand the swirling sea of frustrations that we can navigate daily. So picture this it's a typical morning in your household. Your child wakes up in a whirlwind of emotions and before you even had your sip of morning tea, you're already on that emotional roller coaster of the day. It's like riding a never-ending roller coaster, from tears over spilled cereal to meltdowns over mismatched socks. As empathic parents, we often struggle to maintain boundaries between our emotions and our children's. It's as if an invisible rope connects us to their every feeling, making it challenging to distinguish where they end and where we, as parents, begin. And let me be honest, it can be exhausting. So how often have you found yourself overwhelmed by the sheer intensity of your child's emotions, feeling like you're drowning in a sea of feelings that aren't your own?

Speaker 2: 4:39

But maybe the most insidious frustration of it all is the guilt, right. The guilt that creeps in when we can't fix or solve all of our children's emotional struggles, or the guilt that creeps in that we can't protect them from similar pain that we had when we were kids. We tell ourselves that we should be able to kiss away their tears or banish their fears with a hug. But the truth is we're only human and we can't always be everything to everyone. And yet the parental guilt persists right, weighing heavily on our hearts and minds. And let's not forget that the toll that it takes on us, the constant absorbing of our children's emotions, leaves us drained and depleted. It's like we're emotional sponges soaking up every sigh, every fleeting moment of frustration. And how often have you felt just spent at the end of the day, feeling like you had nothing left to give.

Speaker 2: 5:43

As we navigate these frustrations together, I want you to remember that sometimes, feeling overwhelmed is okay. It's okay to set boundaries and prioritize your self-care needs, even when the demands of parenting are ever-present. And, most importantly, it's okay to ask for help when you need it. We can weather the storm of empathic parenting one emotional wave at a time. And regarding emotional storms, right, what I want to do is I want to move and focus on our deepest desires as parents, as impasse to our parents, or parents who are, who children are highly sensitive. So, as empathic parents, so as empathic parents, we long for a deeper understanding of our emotional boundaries and we really want to know how to maintain them. Raise your hand, if you get that. It's like searching for the elusive treasure map to navigate the seas right of parenthood. But here's what I don't want you to fear. I don't want you to fear that you're alone in this, because you're not. All of us are in this together as we journey through the winding roads of empathic parenting.

Speaker 2: 7:01

One of our greatest desires is to foster healthy emotional expression and communication with our families. Picture like a cozy haven where everyone feels safe to share their feelings without fear of judgment or fear that somebody else is going to get upset. It's about creating a sacred space where vulnerability is celebrated, not shunned. But if we're going to talk about that cozy, serene place, we also need to talk about those fleeting moments of peace and calm amidst the storm of parenting as impasse right. Sometimes it's like precious gems hidden among like a mountainous terrain. There are always ways to cultivate those moments daily, whether it's through mindfulness practices or grounding exercises or simply carving out time for your self-care. Right, you can create tranquility amidst the chaos. It's just a choice. We have to prioritize it and I want you to remember that to equip your children with the tools to navigate their own emotions right, you want them to be able to navigate their emotions independently. It's about empowering them to become the captains of their emotional ships. You want them to be able to navigate turbulence with confidence and resilience. So it can be from teaching the mindfulness to encouraging them to have open dialogue about their feelings. You can actually help your children cultivate emotional intelligence that will serve them well into adulthood.

Speaker 2: 8:39

I often have people ask the question like how can I best teach my highly sensitive child or my child who believe is an empath? How can I teach them to bounce back, be more resilient, to manage their own big feelings? And my answer is always by modeling what it looks like to do that right. Our words to our children mean less than what we're doing in front of our children. So model mindfulness, model boundaries, model being able to manage and regulate your emotions. Show them what it looks like.

Speaker 2: 9:16

So, ultimately, our deepest desire as empathic parents is to cultivate a sense of balance and harmony within our family dynamic. It's about finding that sweet spot where empathy meets boundaries, where compassion can coexist with self care. And while that journey may be challenging at times and I get that I want you to know that every step we take, every step you take, brings you closer to creating that loving, nurturing environment that you and your children deserve. So what I would love for you to do is I want you to take these desires right, these parental desires that we have, and I want you to hold on to them. And I want you to hold on to them almost like they're beacons of light, and I want you to use them as guides whenever you're going through darkness. And speaking of darkness, what I want to dive into now is I want to talk about our deepest fears as empathic parents, because, remember, we have our deepest desires, we have that light. So fear not when we go into the darker fears of our minds, right the darkest corners of our minds together. So I want you to picture this it's late at night and you're laying in bed and your mind's racing with worries.

Speaker 2: 10:41

One of our biggest fears is losing our identity in the sea of our children's emotions, like we're drowning in their feelings. We're drowning in their needs. We're struggling to find our sense of self amidst the chaos, amidst our children's needs and desires and fears. Then there's also this lingering concern about unintentionally passing on our emotional struggles or patterns to our kids. Speaking for myself, I think one of the deepest pains a parent can sit with is the realization that we have passed on one of our biggest emotional pains or struggles or traumas to our children, unintentionally. It's like the one thing we wanted no one none of our children to feel. They actually end up feeling it's like a blind spot for us. We think, because we do something differently in action, that we're not causing the same emotional trauma. It's a heavy burden to bear and we want nothing more than to shield our children from our pain, and yet we fear that we might inadvertently hand it down to them like an unwanted inheritance.

Speaker 2: 12:06

But maybe what keeps us up at night the most is the fear of not being enough for our children, of being unable to support or guide them through their emotional challenges. It's like we're standing on the edge of a cliff, desperately trying to hold on to our children as they teeter on the brink of their emotions, fearing that one wrong move by us could send them tumbling into the abyss. And I want you to remember the toll that happens to us when we are overly empathetic and enmeshed or entangled in our children's emotions takes a serious mental and emotional toll on us. It's like we're walking a tightrope, balancing our need to be there for our children with our need to care for ourselves. But what if we fail? What if we fall? What if we need help finding our way back to solid ground? And lastly, there's the fear of not being able to establish healthy boundaries with our children, leading to strained relationships in the future. We're walking through a minefield, basically constantly on edge, never knowing where the next explosion will occur. But what if we could find a way to navigate this minefield together, like hand in hand with our children, forging a path of love and understanding and open communication? That's possible. So, as we confront these fears head on, it's important to remember that we're not alone here. We're in this. Together, we can overcome any obstacle that stands in our way. So, as we move forward, I want us to keep our hearts open to the possibilities, and what I want us to do now is shift our focus to the light that guides us forward. So I want to uncover and talk about the tools and strategies that can help us navigate the complexities of empathic parenting and those fears that we have, that kind of sometimes battle with our desires. I want us to be able to parent with grace and compassion.

Speaker 2: 14:15

So, first and foremost, let's talk about prioritizing self care. So picture this you've had a really long day, your child struggles with intense emotions and you feel like you're on the brink of burnout. This is when self care becomes non-negotiable. Now here's the thing I say. This is when self-care is non-negotiable no matter what. But this is one of those situations where you have to pause and maybe add some extra self-care in right. A lot of times, what we can do is the more stress we're under, the more we pull back from the extra care that we give ourselves. So in this situation, it's a highly stressful situation, so self-care in that moment has to be non-negotiable. You can't drop your self-care routine even though you're really stressed. So I want you to take a moment to pause and ask yourself what do I need right now? What do I need to replenish my energy? Whether it's taking a few deep breaths, whether it's taking some time for yourself, whether it's stepping outside for a brief walk or maybe diving into your favorite hobby, or you just wanna permit yourself to prioritize your wellbeing.

Speaker 2: 15:31

Next, super important and something I struggled with many years with my kids, was setting and maintaining boundaries. I want you to imagine your child is upset and seeking comfort, but you're already feeling emotionally drained, right? Maybe you can feel the anxiety building up in your chest. So this is when it's crucial to honor your limits and communicate them kindly but firmly. You might say something like I understand you're upset and I'm here for you, but I need just a few minutes to recharge. Let's talk about it after I've had a chance to take care of myself. Or you can even set a time boundary Give mom 15 minutes, I'll meet you in your room in 15 minutes and we'll talk all about it. So, by setting boundaries, you're teaching your child remember you're modeling, so you're teaching your child the importance of self care and modeling healthy emotional boundaries. You're also teaching your child that it's not just about what another person needs in that moment, it's about what you need to. So it's about coming together as two people, honoring where both of you are at.

Speaker 2: 16:46

Communication, as we all know right, is key to fostering a healthy family dynamic. So imagine a scenario where your child struggles to express their emotions and you sense tension. Right, you can sense the tension within your family and this is an opportunity to create a space for open dialogue, right? So you can sit down with your child, encourage them to share their thoughts without judgment. This is when you actively listen, you validate their feelings and you offer gentle guidance if needed. By practicing compassionate communication, you're strengthening your bond with your child and nurturing their emotional intelligence.

Speaker 2: 17:31

Now, I get it sometimes and this is part of your journey of self-awareness, and noticing is what comes up within your body when your child is expressing their emotions or maybe having a difficult time with their emotions. How much of that do you take on? And, because you take that on, how does that affect how you listen? How does that affect how you are able to validate their feelings? How often are you trying to talk them out of their feelings or tell them they're overreacting or need to calm down? Those small moments we can take of noticing what's coming up for us can be a clue that maybe we should consider seeking support right from other empathic parents or a therapist, especially in empathic parenting.

Speaker 2: 18:24

Imagine you're feeling overwhelmed by all the unique challenges of raising a highly sensitive child and being an empath, and your craving guidance and understanding from someone who truly gets it, and this is when reaching out for support can make all the difference right. So you're not crazy. You're not a bad parent. You're learning to navigate your emotions and your reactions to others' emotions, just as your child is. So, whether you join a support group or attend a workshop or schedule regular sessions with a therapist, I want you to accept the invitation to surround yourself with a supportive community that can provide invaluable insights and validation.

Speaker 2: 19:11

And finally, let's talk about the act of self compassion. So I want you to think about a moment that you were overwhelmed by self doubt and criticism. Maybe you were questioning that you weren't doing enough for your child. This is when self compassion becomes essential. I want you to take a step back and remind yourself that you're doing the best that you can with the tools that you have and acknowledge your efforts. Celebrate your successes, celebrate the fact that you're listening to this podcast and you're open to learning and growing along with your child, and offer yourself the same kindness and understanding that you would to a dear friend. So, by practicing self compassion, you're cultivating resilience and nurturing your inner strength.

Speaker 2: 20:05

So, as you navigate the complexities of raising empathic children, highly sensitive children or being an empath yourself, I want you to remember to prioritize self care. Get really good at setting boundaries, kindly communicate openly, seek support when you need it and practice self compassion. So you'll navigate empathic parenting with grace and compassion by implementing these concrete tools and strategies every day. As we come to an end of today's episode, I want to thank you for joining me for the complexities of empathic parenting, and remember you're not alone in your experiences and your frustrations, and your desires and your fears.

Speaker 2: 20:52

As parents, we can support each other and navigate this beautiful yet challenging parenting path with empathy and compassion. If you're craving more connection and support, remember I invite you to join Realize Empath Community at RealizeImpathcom. As a member, you'll be the first to know about upcoming retreats, events and resources tailored specifically for empaths and highly sensitive people. Whether you seek guidance, inspiration or a space to share your experiences, the Realize Empath Community is here for you. Until next time, remember to nurture yourself as much as you nurture your children. Take care, dear empathic parents, and may you find peace and joy in every moment. This is Kristin Schwartz, your empath counselor, signing off. See you next time, you guys.

Speaker 1: 21:50

Thanks for listening to the Realize Empath Podcast. Revisit past episodes or contact Kristin at RealizeEmpathcom. Did you love this episode? Please share it with a friend. Thanks for tuning in, Until next time. Sensitive souls.