Mastering Love and Connection as an Empath

Never again let your empathic abilities leave you feeling drained and disconnected in your intimate relationships. We promise you'll walk away from this episode armed with practical strategies to create balance in your love life. 

As empaths, we walk a fine line between feeling our partner's emotions and maintaining our emotional equilibrium. In the pursuit of harmony, we often disregard our own needs. 

But it's time to change that narrative. In the first segment, we'll guide you through finding your sweet spot - staying connected to your partner's emotions without losing yourself. This journey involves open communication, self-care, setting boundaries, and regular emotional check-ins.

Transitioning from understanding to implementing, the second part of our conversation revolves around building healthy empathic relationships. Here, we've crafted a handy list of 10 essential elements for thriving as an empath in a relationship. 

From fostering quality connections to navigating the intricacies of conflict resolution, we'll help you deepen your bond with your partner. Moreover, we'll delve into self-awareness, teaching you to distinguish your emotions from your partner's. 

By the end of our chat, you'll be equipped to protect your emotional energy and build a fulfilling and balanced relationship, even while dealing with the intense emotions of being an empath. 

So, buckle up for an enlightening journey that promises to revolutionize your intimate relationships.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

You're listening to the Realized Empath Podcast, where we get real about loving and stumbling through our sensitive lives with your host and holistic counselor, Kristin Schwartz, who helps redefine what's possible for an empath who embraces a path of self-healing.

Speaker 2: 0:22

Hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of the Realized Empath Podcast. I'm your host, kristin Schwartz, and I'm so glad you're here. Today we are going to be diving into the fascinating world of empaths and their intimate relationships. So if you're an empath, or love someone who is, you're in for a treat. Grab your favorite drink, get comfy and let's get started. So what's an empath anyway? So let's start from the beginning.

Speaker 2: 0:53

Empaths are like emotional sponges. They have an uncanny ability to feel and absorb the emotions of others. It's like walking in other people's emotional shoes. It can be a superpower and it can also be really challenging in our intimate relationships. So picture this you're dating an empath. They sense your emotions before you even know you have them. It's like they're the human version of an emotional radar. But it's not all roses and rainbows, and I will attest to that.

Speaker 2: 1:35

One common pitfall is getting lost in each other's emotions. It's almost like this never-ending loop of how are you feeling? No, how are you feeling? And we really need to actually learn how to find a balance and all of that Like noticing everything but then figuring out and accepting that not everything is our business or our load to carry. So balancing the emotional scales in a relationship, when you're prone to taking on your partner's feelings, is like mastering a delicate dance Recognizing you're both tightrope walkers teetering on a wire of emotions, acknowledging your empathy and recognizing that too much emotional load can actually tip the scales off balance. We really want to be able to create a welcoming space for open communication. We want to be able to set aside regular check-ins with our partners. We want to feel confident in sharing our feelings and concerns and needs, and we want them to be able to share the same with us. We want a safe enough relationship where we can say hey, this is the story my mind's telling me right now. Is this true? Am I off base here? Remember that your partner's emotions aren't solely a responsibility to carry. Let's go back to the tightrope example. So, like a skilled tightrope walker, you want to find your center, your own emotional equilibrium, and let your partner's feelings be a part of your support system, not an overwhelming weight.

Speaker 2: 3:28

As you navigate this relationship, you want to remember to practice the art of self-care, just like a tightroper needs moments of rest, or maybe they need to strengthen their calves, make sure their legs are rested, and they want to make sure that they rest and recalibrate before they get back on the wire. You also have to replenish your emotional energy. You want to engage in activities that uplift you and rejuvenate you. That can be, let's say, a solo stroll in nature or diving into a good book or unwinding with a hobby. You want to make self-care non-negotiable. It needs to be something that is always there, no matter what, even when you're on vacation. The non-negotiable part of your self-care is just part of your routine. The balance that you're looking for and I'm looking for as a highly sensitive soul, and the balance that we really want for this empathic journey, is about discovering that sweet spot where you're connected to your partner's emotions without losing sight of your own emotional well-being.

Speaker 2: 4:44

All relationships have ups and downs, and I know that. We all know that. So let's talk about some of the common pitfalls in our relationships as empaths. One that I hear very often in my practice, and also one that I've experienced in my own life, is empaths tend to put their partner's needs ahead of their own, sometimes to the point of neglecting themselves. So picture this picture empaths as emotional superheroes, capes fluttering in the wind, ready to save the day. But here's the catch they sometimes get so caught up and plain therapist, that they forget to actually care for themselves or meet their needs, or even acknowledge their needs or ask for what they need.

Speaker 2: 5:39

It's like we can be equipped with this automatic feelings first mode that kicks in whenever our partner's emotional signals blink. It's like we dive headfirst into understanding every emotional twist and turn, forgetting that we're human too. We have needs too, and we don't have this ever non-ending supply of energy every day, and once we empty it out for everyone else, there will not be anything left for us. So in this mission to rescue everyone else, so what ends up happening? In our mission to rescue everyone else, we unintentionally end up in an emotional tug of war where our needs are left stranded. Think of it like this impasse, are like the ultimate party planners obsessing over every tiny detail of the grand celebration that's our relationship, but what we end up doing is to ensure that everyone else is having a blast. We also have to make sure that we enjoy the party ourselves. It's like we become so engrossed and catering to our partner's emotional menu that we overlook our hunger for emotional substance ourselves. It's like throwing a party where the host is so busy serving appetizers that they miss out on the main course and we're left emotionally undernourished.

Speaker 2: 7:20

I remember getting in the car after my wedding and turning to my husband and saying hi. It was almost like we were together the whole time but not present, and so it was like I was saying hi to him, like I hadn't seen him all day, but we literally were just the center of attention for numerous hours. I didn't remember having the cake cut or like I was so out of my body in that experience that I wasn't enjoying the party. So very similar to that. So what I want you to remember is to toss some self-care confetti into the mix, into the party, and ensure your emotional cupcake gets its fair share of icing. I mean, after all, a party that's balanced, where we're present, where we're enjoying ourselves too, where everyone's dancing, especially us.

Speaker 2: 8:18

Here's another pitfall and really to our partners is for deep feelers like myself and you. Sometimes we love to discuss every shift and emotion we experience or that we notice, but sometimes our partners might feel overwhelmed with sharing their every emotion. So imagine if, every time you had a random thought about what to have for dinner, you had to submit a detailed proposal complete with PowerPoint slides and a five-year plan. That's how our partners can feel sometimes when they have to dissect and discuss every single feeling and emotion. It's like being in an emotional reality show where every tiny segment gets dramatic, gets its own dramatic episode. It's not like our partners don't care. It's just that sometimes emotions can be like weird dreams you can't quite explain.

Speaker 2: 9:21

Have you ever had that situation where you feel something Like I remember being in the kitchen and just having this cooking dinner and having this just feeling like my body was experiencing anxiety? And when my husband went to ask what was wrong and I was like, well, I'm feeling anxiety and the question is usually like oh, what happened? Why? But sometimes there is no why. Sometimes my body just is. I don't know if it's remembering a feeling or it's like a habit of feeling, or maybe it's I have low magnesium that day, but sometimes we don't know why we're feeling that way and sometimes we can't explain it.

Speaker 2: 10:05

So while it's great to have a feeling's friendly atmosphere, I want us all to remember that not every I'm feeling kind of meh today moment requires a Shakespearean monologue. Sometimes it's best to keep it concise, because not every emotional hiccup needs like red carpet treatment. So on that note, one of the secrets to having a beautiful, thriving relationship as an empath is communication. We wanna be able to set boundaries. We want our partners to set boundaries. We wanna be able to share our feelings and we also want to be able to ask for space to process if we need that or not go into details. If we're not wanting that in that moment, it's okay for us to speak our needs and it's okay for our partners as well.

Speaker 2: 11:01

Okay, so it's time to turn the tables a bit and focus on building that healthy empathic connection. Remember, empaths have this incredible ability to truly understand their partner's feelings, almost like they have a direct line to their heart, and you wanna be able to use the superpower to create a deep emotional bond. Being an empath in a relationship is like having a heart permanently dialed into the empathy frequency. Building healthy relationship while keeping your emotional compass intact is doable. First, you wanna remember that, while understanding your partner's feelings can be like a superpower, you've got feelings too, and balance is key, like having a seesaw with equal emotional weights. And remember to not take things so personally, not take on their feelings and emotions as a weight on your back. You wanna embrace your empathy, but also embrace your own feelings and needs. Think of it as a two-way paved street with emotional cobblestones. So I've put together 10 must-haves for an empath to thrive and have a thriving relationship.

Speaker 2: 12:29

Number one is communication jive. So healthy relationships thrive on open and honest and respectful communication. And you wanna keep those emotional airwaves buzzing with mutual understanding. And remember, communication is key, but also not over-communicating is key too, right? So we wanna respect each other's boundaries, which takes us to two, which is boundaries boulevard. So it's essential for us to set emotional boundaries. Think of it as a personal feeling zone, sign like your partner's feelings are valid and so are yours. And then we have me time alley. So solo time is your self-care haven. It's where you can recharge your empathy batteries and indulge in things that make your heart dance.

Speaker 2: 13:24

Number four is quality connection. You wanna create meaningful moments together. It's not just about quantity but the quality of time you spend together. Number five is empathy expressway. You wanna celebrate your empathic abilities. Let your partner know you're their emotional ally, but also let them know how you experience your emotions, what it's like for you to live the life that you have and to live in the body that you've been gifted with. Number six is personal pursuits, parkway Pursuit your individual passions. Living outside the relationship enriches both of you and adds interesting layers to your connection. And number seven is laughter. A good laugh can heal a multitude of empathic woes. You wanna infuse humor into your relationship. It's like emotional glue that sticks hearts together.

Speaker 2: 14:33

And number eight is conflict resolution. So conflicts happen in every relationship. We all know that. But how we handle them matters Impasse. I want you to practice assertive communication and active listening. Number nine support squad square. So I want you to be each other's biggest cheerleaders. I want you to support your partner's dreams and endeavors while also advocating for your own. You both should be equally pursuing outside endeavors and cheering each other on.

Speaker 2: 15:14

And number 10 is love headquarters. You wanna love and respect. That's the foundation. You deserve to be loved for who you are, not just for the emotions you can feel. And your partner's feelings are valid and so are yours.

Speaker 2: 15:32

So what if, in your relationships, you absorb the emotions of your partner so much that you find it difficult to navigate your own world that it actually causes you suffering? I get that question a lot. It's a very tangled web that we can weave when we absorb every emotional hiccup from our partners. It's like going to a party and accidentally picking up everyone else's glitter, except these sparkles are feelings and are not always shiny and pretty. When we soak up our partner's emotions like sponges, it's easy to lose track of where our feelings end and others begin, and we become emotional chameleons changing colors all the time to match whatever landscape we're in. But we absolutely can don our own emotional raincoats and set some energetic boundaries to keep our emotional space distinct and saintly intact. Establishing energetic boundaries is like building a fort around your emotional castle. It's not about shutting people out, but safeguarding your own emotional energy. Imagine you're wearing a bubble made of feelings. It lets in the good vibes and bounces back the not so good ones.

Speaker 2: 17:02

I wanna preface by saying this too the goal is not to block out all negative vibes, because that's unattainable and silly. Actually the good vibes only thing. I know it's silly or it's catchy or whatever, but it's unrealistic. And if we're always blocking out everybody else's feelings that don't feel good to us, then really where is there a chance to share empathy if we're not actually allowing people to have feelings other than good vibes and joy? So you want to start by practicing self-awareness and recognize when you're absorbing emotions that aren't yours.

Speaker 2: 17:45

Next, you want to give yourself permission to say no to emotional overload. You want to watch what your thoughts are doing as you're noticing the emotions and feelings of others. What story, what stories is your mind spinning and telling you? Because the stories about your experience, about what you're perceiving, is actually what's going to cause you the most discomfort. You want to be selective with how much you allow in your life and you want to be able to communicate those boundaries with your partner. You want to let them know that you are their emotional ally and also you may need some breathing room. Think of it as drawing a chalk line around your emotional dance floor. Your partner can still groove with you, but there is a defined space so you can keep your individual moves intact. Remember that you wouldn't just invite everyone you meet to a party Just like that. You don't have to ask every emotion or feeling that someone else is experiencing into your inner sanctuary. Setting energetic boundaries isn't selfish. It's essential for maintaining your emotional well-being. Put your emotional superhero cape on and embrace the art of boundary building. I promise you your heart will thank you and your emotional landscape will be much less cluttered with other people's glitter.

Speaker 2: 19:23

One of the most amazing things about impasse and highly sensitive people is our intuition how powerful and connected we are to that inner intelligence. You can use that with your partner to ask questions beyond how is your day. You can dive into the why and how of their emotions. And partners Show appreciation for that empathic ability. Acknowledge that their emotional insights are a gift that enriches your relationship.

Speaker 2: 20:01

Is communication the only key to an ideal connection? Is it the main focus for a dynamic duo? Not at all. Focusing on you is necessity. Your partner focusing on themselves is a necessity for the health of your partnership. Your ability to absorb emotions can be exhausting. That's why self-care is non-negotiable and has to be non-negotiable. You want to engage in those activities that fill your energy back up, because you can't pour from an empty cup. This brings us to the end of the episode. Today we have journeyed through the highs and lows of being an empath and an intimate relationship. Remember our relationship with an empath is like having a built-in emotional support system. Embrace the uniqueness, communicate and nurture that beautiful connection. Thank you for tuning in to Realized Empath. I hope you gained valuable insights into how impasse navigate intimate relationships. If you enjoy today's episode, remember to subscribe, review and share with your fellow empathic friends. Until next time, stay sensitive and keep those hearts open.

Speaker 1: 21:21

Thanks for listening to the Realized Empath podcast. Revisit past episodes or contact Kristen at RealizedEmpathcom. Did you love this episode? Please share it with a friend. Thanks for tuning in, Until next time. Sensitive souls.